MYSTERY CHAOS THEATER
3000
Out in the depths of space... Sailor Galaxia, the legendary soldier who sealed Chaos within herself, is cutting a swath through the galaxy, conquering worlds left and right while harvesting the Star Seeds that are the source of all life. A little while back, she sent four of her minions, the Sailor Animamates, to Earth, but they failed her and she destroyed them as punishment. However, now that Galaxia's remaining servants are quite competently gathering Star Seeds for her, Galaxia has decided to find another source of amusement: torturing her former employees.
Mystery Chaos Theater 3000 is a series of MSTings... that is, they are parodies that steal the text of other (bad) fanfiction stories and mock them relentlessly in the style of the cult classic TV show, Mystery Science Theater 3000. In cases where I've managed to get in contact with the original authors, permission has been granted for me to use their stories. In the other cases, not so much.
The characters in Mystery Chaos Theater 3000 are drawn from the manga/anime/stage musical series Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon, though it doesn't follow any specific continuity. Familiarity with the "Sailor Moon" anime, manga, and/or musicals will aid in comprehension of many jokes and host segments, but if you haven't seen any of them, just ignore anything you don't understand. The main text of the MSTings will hopefully still be amusing.
Mystery Chaos Theater may contain mature language and ideas. Perhaps more accurately, it may contain immature language and ideas. Either way, be warned.
Frankly, I would love to have a better title than Mystery Chaos Theater 3000, but halfway through writing, I realized that there was no way I couldn't include the Mystery Science Theater theme song when one of my characters was named "Crow." And the last line in that song doesn't work any other way...
A quick introduction to the characters of Mystery Chaos Theater 3000. With pretty pictures.
Episode 1: What Legends Are Made of, Chapter 1, by Flareon
An Author Avatar version of Ash leaves on his Pokemon journey with nothing but his mistrustful companion Pikachu, his expensive custom bike, his loyal Charmander, his water-, fire-, and electricity-proof leather jacket, and his ability to pull victories out of his ass.
This is the first MSTing I ever did, and I'm fond of it, though it's not all that great. The "host segments" (outside the theater) are completely run-of-the-mill and contrived, I'm afraid. Note that the fanfics after this weren't necessarily written in the order they're posted.
Episode 2: What Legends Are Made of, Chapter 13, by Flareon
Ash and company visit Bill at his lighthouse, talk about love, and find out that Pikachu is destined for godlike power. Just another day in the life of Ash.
Episode 3: What Legends Are Made of, Chapter 14, by Flareon
Ash fights Lieutenant Surge for the Thunder Badge. Lieutenant Surge hits on him. Misty has an "OAGAM." You will never look at a Goldeen the same way again.
Episode 4: What Legends Are Made of, Chapter 15, by Flareon
Aboard the S.S. Anne, we learn that Ash isn't the only Author Avatar in the world... there are two others, one of whom is named after a vampire from Buffy. Meanwhile, Team Rocket buys into a pyramid scheme.
Episode 5: The Truth and Lots more, Chapters 1-3, by Livi-Lou
Sailor Moon battles generic youma for no apparent reason, Tuxedo Kamen gets beaten up, and Usagi's parents suddenly start paying attention to her unexplained absences, culminating in a touching "coming out" scene.
Episode 6: not sure of a title yet, Chapter 1, by silvercrystal023
In this thought-provoking Sailor Moon fanfic, Hotaru angrily angsts to Rei for an interminable period of time, after which they enter into a lesbian relationship based on mutual hatred of everyone else. Then they go blow some stuff up.
One of my favorites. The swearing in this fanfic is especially fascinating.
Featuring the first chapters of:
"Sailor Moon and The Guradian Senshi," by Soul of Darkness, in which it is demonstrated that all Sailor Senshi besides Moon are not only ineffective, but easily replaceable;
"It's That Time Of the Year Again!," by blue-angel11, in which the characters from Yu-gi-oh, their Yamis, and the Inner Senshi prepare for their first day of 11th grade (wacky hijinks ensue);
"The mystery of the moon," by sailor-rainbow, in which Mamoru breaks up with Usagi for no apparent reason, followed by a short intermission in the form of a line;
and "I Am Gaea," by Crystal Rain Drop, in which someone apparently dies and Usagi decides she's actually badass.
Episode 8: The Masters of Anything Goes, Chapters 1-5, by silverwing1
When she discovers Mamoru and Rei's strangely exhibitionistic affair, Usagi reveals that she is actually a Master of Anything Goes, as well as the greatest actress of our age.
Episode 9: Moonlight can;t die, no matter how hard you try, Chapters 1-2, by Hell Fighter Usagi 17
Usagi and Hotaru, half-Saiyan princesses of the Silver Millennium, are betrayed by some of the other Senshi and thrown into the Star Wars universe, where they and their remaining loyal friends must find jobs or something.
Episode 10: The Sailor Sisters, Chapters 1-8, by Eternal Sailor Darkness
The Tuesday after their fight against Galaxia, the Sailor Scouts are faced with an even greater threat: random monsters-of-the-day. And for this battle, they'll need help from three of the strongest Sailors: the author and her two sisters. A self-insertion in the classic style.
Episode 11: Beyond the smoke and mirrors, Chapters 1-9, by RevolutionaryPrincess
After the climatic events of the TV series, Utena wakes up in Boston and meets a terminally ill ballet dancer named Amy who works with Touga in Boston. . Meanwhile, Anthy is in Boston hanging out with Juri who is living in Boston, searching for Utena in Boston. But Akio is also in Boston! And so is the alternative rock band, Incubus! How will it all tie together?
Last Update: April 28, 2007
Web site and MSTings by Dallbun. Comments are welcome!
Fanfics the properties of their respective writers.
Character sprites by Primadonna.